elysemarie's blog

to believe in truth…

There is only faith. That is the only and end result for all things, when the layers are pulled away, when the ideas and abstractions are laid aside, when the sensory knowledge of your personal experience, when what is real and there, is the only thing left. For there is no proof, of anything. There is no way to ever know for certain if others are truthful, for there always is a probability they may not be, and there is no way for one to quantify, logic, or prove that honesty.

So it is the same with love. There is only faith in its existence. There is only faith in it lasting.  Marriage does not mean love, not in the traditional sense.  Rachel put it best: it’s not the ceremony and the big fuss, it’s not the government paperwork or the license or the taxes. It’s about the commitment, and not just making it for yourself, but having the faith in the other. While there is no way to ever know for certain that a love will last forever, there is no way to quantify it or prove it, there is only the faith in your own knowledge and your own heart that it will. You can write it on nothing but a sticky note, but to make that commitment is to have faith in your own love and honesty, and to have faith in theirs too.  And to love, you must have faith. It has been said that:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

It is true. To be patient with another human being, you must have faith in their ability to improve a mistake or faith in your love despite that flaw. To not envy and not boast, you must have faith in yourself, that you are good enough or have enough without measuring yourself against others. To not be rude, you must have faith in other human beings, that they can be good. To not always seek for yourself and not keep record of others wrongs, one must have faith that the other cares and that their wrongs are not intentional. To have faith, one cannot delight in the evil of the world, for to be evil is to only tear down the faith of others.  To have truth, one must have faith, as I said above. To protect, trust, or hope, one must have faith in their existence at all, for they cannot be quantified or proven in any way; they can only be felt in that periphery of knowledge that is beyond words. And finally, if there is that faith, in all things, in all that you know and feel, then it will not fail. For even if a love seem to fail in the most obvious ways, there is love in all that is around you. If you have faith in what you feel, in what you know but cannot put into words, then there is love that flows within and without you, love for the breeze on your face, love for the moon at night, love for whatever makes those feelings and experiences real.  Love is not always found in another person, though it can be; it is everywhere and always, so long as you have faith that it will be and faith in your senses.  And everyone calls those things at the periphery of knowledge something different. Some call it God. Some call it Allah. Some call it instinct, some call it science, some call it their gut, some call it intuition.But regardless of your name for it, it is there, and it is as real as skinning your knee or the breeze on your face, even though there is no way to prove it. One would never deny the existence of faith, for there is no way to. One cannot prove one way or another whether it exists. At the end, there is only what you feel, the butterflies in your stomach, the queasiness too. As my brother said in his essay, one can tear down the layers of religion and follow the failure cascade of ritual and ill logic to its end point, and there is no way to prove one way or another in the existence of God, or for that matter anything. At that point, there is only the faith that is rooted in your senses and feelings.

At the end, there is only faith, in everything and all things. Regardless of your name for it or your embodiment of it, at the end, all that is left is the unspeakable that lies at the edge of knowledge and language; and to lend your ear, your mind, your heart to that is to truly have faith.

My time has come to heed that which I cannot understand or verbalize. For to continue to ignore it is to have no faith, to have no love, to live in darkness.

It is time to fly and have faith in my own little wings.

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This entry was published on March 31, 2010 at 11:05 pm and is filed under essays. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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